No light

Yesterday
I saw a man
drinking beer
in the metro

He sat next to me
but I said nothing

And everyone else
did nothing too.

I did not like myself
in this situation
that I
was distancing
myself
from him
and from everyone
else.

I started to look around
and saw
that there was no light
in anyone's eyes.
Everyone was just as
turned inside.
Looking but not seeing.
Being here but somewhere else.
Just like myself.

I did not like it.

I did not see any smiles
during these 20min.
Instead
when I happened
to look at someone
they fast
turned away.

Only the drunk guy
was slow to turn
and I saw all the
sadness and dullness
in his eyes.

Strangely enough
I did not think:
what an unattractive man
instead
I thought
what if my son
will also be the same
in 20 years..
Without curiosity towards life
without energy
without happiness
without love.

I wish I could know
how to insure
so that
it would never
happen to him.

But
it is November.
and I am really working hard
to be able
to smile.